Humor Articles & Lists
An Inglorious Night
The Haven
November 25, 2020
Southport, Connecticut (Thanksgiving, 1992) — Had I known the pumpkin pie was to be my downfall with Bridget I would have declined. But it was not something I could foresee. I was 21-years old and had just arrived at Bridget’s beautiful colonial home donning a Letterman’s jacket and clean-cut haircut. I was hoping to impress and did at first.
The Six Complaints of the Ghost of President Chester A. Arthur
Points in Case
November 2, 2022
I'm one of the most ticked-off former presidents!
Brutally Honest Thank You Notes from an American Expat in Switzerland
The Haven
January 16, 2021
Thank you for the $50 gift certificate to Cracker Barrel. While I miss a good breakfast skillet filled to the brim with fried eggs, hash browns and bacon and smothered in cheese the texture of a melted plastic Baby Yoda, Cracker Barrel hasn’t made it to Switzerland yet.
Ideas for New NFL Mascots: Hackers, Salmonella, and Road Rage
Points in Case
October 22, 2020
Why do we allude to the past when the present offers so much material? Would confronting a Buccaneer or Pirate in 2020 incite fear in anyone?
My Dinner with Barabbas
MuddyUm
September 19, 2021
He arrived 40 minutes late in a fashionable tracksuit he could pull off in the Beverly Hills haunt. Patrons thought he was a Hollywood producer. In fact, my guest’s claim to fame was Pontius Pilate had bailed him out from Crucifixion over 2,000 years before.
Nominate This: Facebook Challenges That No One Would Like
The Haven
October 7, 2020
I was nominated for the 10-day challenge “In-laws I Hate.” Every day I will post an image of an in-law I strongly dislike or a moment in our relationship when I feigned tolerance even though I secretly wish we were not even remotely related. I will post it without explanation and nominate somebody to take the challenge.
The Lost FBI Transcript of Dogs Playing Poker in In re Mafia Crime Families Trial (1985)
The Haven
Dec 13, 2021
Hound 1 (shuffling cards): I saw Mr. Pickles at the park the other day.
Hound 2: Which park? The one on Flatbush?
Hound 1: No. Ferry Point in the Bronx.
Historical April Events Reimagined during Coronavirus
Points in Case
May 5, 2020
History remade, for better and worse.